Divorce mediation is a valuable tool for people planning for the end of their marriage. Successful mediation can keep the overall costs of your divorce significantly lower than they would otherwise be. Mediation can also give you more control over custody matters and property division decisions instead of asking a judge to make all of those crucial choices on your behalf.
However, divorce often comes with intense emotions from both spouses, and you may have a hard time seeing your ex without having a powerful, negative emotional reaction. Some people assume that mediation will not be an option in their divorce because they can’t stand the thought of sitting in a room with their ex for hours.
The good news is that you don’t have to meet face-to-face for mediation to work for your family.
A mediator can be a literal intermediary
The mediator that you hire will help you, your ex and your attorneys discuss the big issues in your divorce so that you can resolve your disagreement. This process is usually fastest when everyone sits down together, but it if that approach will mean that you can’t resolve issues because of your emotions, then you may want to consider staying separate during mediation.
You and your ex could each be in a separate room with your individual attorney with a mediator traveling back and forth between you. If you have very different schedules, you might even meet with the mediator at separate times and spend many days negotiating your way toward an uncontested settlement.
When you believe that mediation would be beneficial but also think that you can’t handle the emotions that sitting down with your ex will cause, you may want to discuss those concerns with your lawyer to see if you can arrange for a mediation session that will truly work for your family’s situation.
The extra effort that could save you time, money and frustration
Although handling mediation separately can you make it a more complicated situation than face-to-face mediation sessions, those complex arrangements are likely still more beneficial for your family than litigating all of your divorce issues in court.
Even if the process does take longer, provided that you reach an agreement with your ex, mediation will usually be faster and less financially draining than handling these disputes in court. Learning more about divorce mediation can help you make use of this powerful tool in your upcoming divorce.